Colton, Washington

Colton is a town in Whitman County, Washington, United States. The population was 386 at the 2000 census. Also, it is the home town of Jeff Stout, who is probably one of the most awesomest people in the world, time magazine once interveiwed him for top person of the year and it printed out on 24k gold paper and diamond dust ink. It was once said that in 1983 when he was born angels began to sing and the clouds parted and it began to rain tungsten, which is said to have accumulated in the wheat fields west of town. The sweat of this man is the active ingrediant in Old Spice and many of the Axe fragrances. And, his urine is the fuel used by NASA. When he walks all men around fall to their knees and praise the amazingness of his every step. In school yards, "Jeff Stout" is a euphemism for an absolute perfection. He was born on the 7th day of the 9th month just in time for lunch. He congratulated the doctor on a perfect delivery and walked away with a nurse under each arm.